General, Your Tank is a Powerful Vehicle
This song is an update of a poem of the same name,
written in the early 1940's by Bertolt Brecht.
General — here at the Lockheed plant
we’ve just been burning up that 200-billion grant
now general feast your eyes on your new f-35
it’s more than just a plane, it’s a way of life,
look, General — at the GE propulsion system,
BAE tactical jammers, too many missiles to list
in Textron cluster bomb bays, with Raytheon sidewinders too
this plane’s just got one problem — it needs a crew.
It needs a crew — it needs a pilot
admittedly, design-wise, that’s been going out of style,
it’s gonna take therefore another 80 billion bucks of funds
before this contract’s done.
General — we here at General Dynamics
have been tightening the screws on all of our top mechanics
making them crank out the ranks of brand name amphibious tanks
that roll on ocean and on land — straight into the bank
look, General — it doesn’t get better than this
twin shrouded Honeywell jets, an Alliant MK-46
with integrated Bushmaster cannons that leave no survivors
this tank’s just got one problem — it needs a driver.
It needs a driver! You know, to drive it!
and that’s an awful dangerous job for anybody over private
so it looks as though the Fed’ll wind up deeper in the red
before this contract’s met.
General — we here at Northrop Grumman
hear you need someone to keep those hummers hummin’
and the bosses at Boeing haven’t got word from the Pentagon
of where their contract’s going since it went to Centigon
General — do please review our prototype
young human soldier, complete with optional stripe,
he can drive a tank, and he can fly a plane
he’s only got one problem: he’s got a brain.
He’s got a brain! So he can think!
We’re gonna need a lot more funding to work out that little kink!
But you say KBR sealed up this contract many years before?
General — this means war.