Golden Slippers

 

When we got to the city we were met by a kid
He was distributing topsiders and minks
To half a dozen homeless kids wearing silken outfits
With fur linings and emerald cufflinks
All the workers in the mines were dressed to the nines
In extravagant tuxes and cummerbunds
While the men in limousines were wearing cutoff jeans
And signs that said “Kick me, I’m a dunce”

Oh them golden slippers, oh them golden slippers,
Golden slippers I’m gonna wear
Because they look so neat
Oh them golden slippers, oh them golden slippers,
Golden slippers I’m gonna wear
As I walk upon the golden street

There were hotdog vendors in magnificent splendor
Feeding pitas to beach bums in Birkenstocks
And the shoeshine boys in their satin corduroys
Were busy polishing the businessmen’s gym socks
University trustees and the chief of police
Were out modeling skimpy bikinis
The chief was marching out of step and they don’t carry weapons
So he must have been happy to see me

Guys in motorcycle helmets made of hand-embroidered velvet
And the latest sensations from Paris
Took the garbage downtown in their eiderdown gowns
And their hand-me-down diamond tiaras
There were macho Navy seals sporting stockings and heels
And a gabardine suit on the plumber
While the men in the bank tops wore ten dollar tank tops
And dungarees out of the dumpster

Oh them golden slippers, oh them golden slippers,
Golden slippers I’m gonna wear
Because they look so neat
Oh them golden slippers, oh them golden slippers,
Golden slippers I’m gonna wear
As I walk upon the golden street

Get undressed!
Get undressed!
I don’t wanna wear a shirt from Bangladesh
Sweater vest selling sweat
In a sweatshop boarded up like all the rest

When the grizzly bear big as her human hair wig
Put a blazer on the sheep for the shearing
There were eels wearing sealskin and seals wearing eelskin
And a gaggle of geese in gold earrings
There were chickens wearing leather and cows wearing feathers
And a bull with a ten carat nosering
And the measure protective which they found most effective
Was a security guard wearing nothing.

Well the pope stood beyond ’em in a lovely little condom
He paraded up and down on the terrace
But he hadn’t been invited and the guard got all excited
So the rest of us were kind of embarrassed
I said, “Listen to me, Pope, you know here in Utopia
You don’t have to get attention like that.”
He said “The major difference between a Pope and a dunce
Is that the dunce looks good in the pointed hat.”

Oh them golden slippers, oh them golden slippers,
Golden slippers I’m gonna wear
Because they look so neat
Oh them golden slippers, oh them golden slippers,
Golden slippers I’m gonna wear
As I walk upon the golden street