I Don’t Remember


Presidents know, though they come and they go,
the memories will always remain
Part of their art is to speak to the heart
while completely bypassing the brain
so when we rewind to the 80’s we find
amidst much that was shoddy and rotten
a tour de force of orator’s discourse
which by nature, cannot be forgotten
Ron may be gone, but his memory lives on
in that ever-enduring sound-bite
who could forget those three words he said?
I don’t remember — That’s right!

What were those meetings with Casey about? — I don’t remember
Was Mr. Poindexter present throughout? — I don’t remember
Strangely enough the most memorable quote
ever to float from that rusty old throat
eight years of coaching, and that’s all she wrote — I don’t remember

So many pesky historical facts
swept away by those three little words
Throughout Iran Contra that magical mantra
steadfastly and staunchly recurred
Now no-one recalls that career of Fawn Hall’s
and the way she supported her boss
whenever she fed her day’s work through the shredder
to help with his memory loss
you’d send her a memo, she’d say “no problemmo”
that lady could totally shred
always in tandem with some memorandum
Ron couldn’t recall if he’d read

Were you aware of the talks with Iran? — I don’t remember
don’t you have something to say other than: “I don’t remember”
facing posterity like Jack the Ripper
with fewer available gray cells than Flipper
what nicer words can one say of the Gipper than I don’t remember

A gallon of white-out the shape of his head
He couldn’t forget fast enough
Wasn’t it Abraham Lincoln who said
some really important stuff?

Someone who sells Reagan memorabilia
must laugh all the way to the bank
if there are books in the Reagan memorial library,
they must be blank
I hate to be rude, but we’re bound to conclude
as we flip through the history pages
Alzheimer’s is bad, but that’s not what he had
whatever he had was contagious!
Even today this disease trickles down
just ask Rumsfeld, just ask Condoleeza
The news media too, when the eulogy’s due,
know that nothing succeeds like amnesia!

Who kept the hostages trapped in Iran? — I don’t remember
Who funded bin Laden in Afghanistan? — I don’t remember
Who armed Khomeini while arming Saddam,
dropped little jokes about dropping the bomb,
busted up unions and called his wife mom? — I don’t remember

Who made the Arctic a temperate zone — I don’t remember
Who pilfered billions from Savings and Loan — I don’t remember
when half of his cabinet resigned in disgrace
who called his hard drive up, then hit erase
hanging a vacancy sign on his face — I don’t remember

who gutted welfare, though not for the rich — I don’t remember
who always stood up for principles which I don’t remember
Who made us pay for the money they stole
sent arms control down the memory hole
what was his greatest theatrical role? — I don’t remember

Who said pollution came mostly from trees? — I don’t remember
who thought the Marcoses were the bee’s knees? — I don’t remember
Who ignored AIDS and the greenhouse effect
supported Apartheid, and in retrospect
did a lot more that we can’t recollect
I mean, here was a guy who out-Scrooged Ebeneezer
vetoing funding for his own disease
now they’re treating this geezer like julius ceasar
oh please!!!
Ron, thanks for nothing!
thank you for nothing!
in other words, thanks for the memories